I don’t wanna waste my life [part 1]

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Heavenly Father; I’m trying to reach out to you in your dwelling;

And though I haven’t met you; I believe you’re there and you’re existing;

I really wanna figure out this life and I’m wondering;

Cos I feel there’s gotta be more than getting education, a job, a wife and a building;

There’s a pain that is running within me and it cuts through my soul like a knife when it’s cutting;

And the reality is; I don’t wanna waste my life or my living;

Cos my time is limited but my problems seems endless and never-ending;

I read your word in Luke 12:15 and I learn that life is not about enjoying my belongings;

There’s gotta be a higher purpose and I wanna know it in my discerning;

But my heart is full of questions and I’m made to understand that it’s only you I can call for my answering;

See, my life feels empty and I have a complaint to file but I’ve got no one to tell so I’m yelling;

The Christians I know smile like everything is ok so I’m questioning;

How comes I’ve never got that feeling?

Why did you create me in the first place? What’s the reason for my being?

I thought I was a special being?

I left my father’s house as a youngster; now I return as an adult human being;

But ironically, I still can’t stand on my own footing;

It’s obvious I’m losing my hope and I’m afraid to knock on your door opening;

Cos I’m not sure I’m ready to be in your face to face meeting;

Cos all I’ve done is to take you for granted by breaking your commandments and ruling;

My heart is filled with guilt feelings;

I’m afraid I’m a rebel and I can’t even blame it on the devil and his evil behaving;

Sadly; I’m a victim of my own bad decisions and choosing;

And I know it at the back of my mind that if I don’t change by transforming;

Then Death or jail is a feasible place for my accommodating;

There’s a lot of time that I’ve been wasting,

Forbidden fruits that I’ve been tasting;

My body is exhausted and slowly away I’ve been fading;

I’m naked and trapped; forsaken, and deserted in my barren region abandoning;

My shame is apparent, it has been presenting;

I’ve only been praying just to get my wish in my representing;

I’ve been fighting for such a long time that when I started I am not remembering;

Why I’m I fighting in the primary positioning?

I’m watching myself crumble before my own eyes, down on my face I’m falling;

And I know sooner or later death will catch up with me and I will no longer be living;

 Is there a way for me to reallocate my outcome from forever a casualty to forever existing?

Because honestly, I don’t wanna waste my life;

Friends of seth

photos courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/friendsofsethchildrenshome

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