Heavenly Father; I’m trying to reach out to you in your dwelling;
And though I haven’t met you; I believe you’re there and you’re existing;
I really wanna figure out this life and I’m wondering;
Cos I feel there’s gotta be more than getting education, a job, a wife and a building;
There’s a pain that is running within me and it cuts through my soul like a knife when it’s cutting;
And the reality is; I don’t wanna waste my life or my living;
Cos my time is limited but my problems seems endless and never-ending;
I read your word in Luke 12:15 and I learn that life is not about enjoying my belongings;
There’s gotta be a higher purpose and I wanna know it in my discerning;
But my heart is full of questions and I’m made to understand that it’s only you I can call for my answering;
See, my life feels empty and I have a complaint to file but I’ve got no one to tell so I’m yelling;
The Christians I know smile like everything is ok so I’m questioning;
How comes I’ve never got that feeling?
Why did you create me in the first place? What’s the reason for my being?
I thought I was a special being?
I left my father’s house as a youngster; now I return as an adult human being;
But ironically, I still can’t stand on my own footing;
It’s obvious I’m losing my hope and I’m afraid to knock on your door opening;
Cos I’m not sure I’m ready to be in your face to face meeting;
Cos all I’ve done is to take you for granted by breaking your commandments and ruling;
My heart is filled with guilt feelings;
I’m afraid I’m a rebel and I can’t even blame it on the devil and his evil behaving;
Sadly; I’m a victim of my own bad decisions and choosing;
And I know it at the back of my mind that if I don’t change by transforming;
Then Death or jail is a feasible place for my accommodating;
There’s a lot of time that I’ve been wasting,
Forbidden fruits that I’ve been tasting;
My body is exhausted and slowly away I’ve been fading;
I’m naked and trapped; forsaken, and deserted in my barren region abandoning;
My shame is apparent, it has been presenting;
I’ve only been praying just to get my wish in my representing;
I’ve been fighting for such a long time that when I started I am not remembering;
Why I’m I fighting in the primary positioning?
I’m watching myself crumble before my own eyes, down on my face I’m falling;
And I know sooner or later death will catch up with me and I will no longer be living;
Is there a way for me to reallocate my outcome from forever a casualty to forever existing?
Because honestly, I don’t wanna waste my life;
photos courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/friendsofsethchildrenshome