I need you

Now, did you read the news today?
Did they say that danger has gone away?
Cos from where I stand the fire is still lit
And it’s burning up into the night!
…
All my thousands dreams
Are haunted by a million screams
Fading into a billion streams!
Maybe I just have too many problems!
….
This is the time
I’m looking up to you for the future
Oh Christ, where are you now?
Cos everything’s gone wrong somehow!
…
I’m so confused
What should I do?
I can’t think of anything
Anything except you
I need you!

Out of nothingness

I
When I hear about love
I imagine a waterfall
A stream of neverending flow
The mystery of an overflowing fall
Over slippery, muddy and tropical paths
The sounding board of gushing waters
Rushing over rocks and clashing waters
Channelled by terracotta roofs
Creating basins and pools
Like crashing bison hoofs
The sequential encounter of fools …

II
Feelings flowing from one heart to another
From one soul to the other
Like whispers in chilling winds
Cascading over time and lives
Piercing in the light and darkness
Drowning all fears and tears
Creating wholeness
Out of nothingness …
Come magic and memories!

Extroverted introvert

If anyone was to love me

They need to understand that I’m half introvert

I’m better in writing than I am in speaking

So I pray that this helps …

Half the time I miss the conversation

Simply cos I’m too analytical

By the time I process what to say …

The conversation has moved on

I prefer quietness and calmness
This is often confused for shyness

If I have a way to avoid conflict

When confronted I’ll often take that route

Though I’m not antisocial

Too much social interaction drains me

I prefer to sit in my couch at home

To going out to a crowded party

If I had a spirit animal

It’d be a caterpillar

Safely curled in my caccoon

Missing out on all the action

If you met me among my family or friends

You wouldn’t know about my introvert tendencies

I’m outspoken and loud

I’m talkative and wild
I’m confident and proud

So if you were to love me

Understand I’ll need my shell

I’ll need time for myself

A time that only I can comprehend

Unfortunately, nobody seems to get that very well

At least nobody I know

So if you were to love me

Understand that I am an extroverted introvert

And the introvert in me needs to recover at times

smuchendu

Run out of words

Today, I’ve run out of words
Ironic, my passion’s playing with words
Simply put, they’re my drug of choice
They feed this addiction
..
So how many words do I need?
What number’s enough?
How many sentences are convincing?
To confess of my love …
..
How do I open my heart?
Declare that I’m love stuck
Show you that I’m consumed?
..
If I say I love you
My heart craves to say more
The hairs in my body thrive for a touch
..
Should just smile?
Will it show my attraction?
Will it spark a connection?
..
Should I learn another language?
The three I know are not enough
I seem to have consumed all their words!
..
How else can I say this?
This craving drives me crazy!
I’m drowning in love!
..
Maybe I should just be quiet
Will that be confusing
Cos even in my silence
My heart whispers a prayer for you

God for a day

If you were God for a day

Would you make a world like this?

One where everything needs everything else

One where we all enter innocent

… bloody

… blameless and clueless

 

Would you create man …

Forty weeks in the making

Nine months undertaking

Would you give man so much freedom?

Bestow him with free will

Free to the extent that he can choose …

To believe in you

… Or not

Free enough to reject you

… to your face

Free to a point of being selfish

… man eat man society

Where the rich gets richer

And the poor man has no one to feed him

 

Would you make rivers flow

… from mountains downstream

Only for man to polute them

Deposit industrial waste in your streams

Then place the blame on you

… for cholera, typhoid, dysentery 

for all his poor choices

… the consequences

 

If you were God for a day

Would the devil freely roam?

Would hurricanes be

How about earthquakes

… landslides

… farmine

… deseases

… drought

 

Would you give you own life

For an evil generation?

See your own creation crucify you like a crook

Like a sheep watch ’em lead you to the slaughter

Despice you, reject you, esteem you not?

Would you be wounded for their crimes?

Crushed for their iniquities

Labelled a man of sorrows

 

Would you call them your children?

Friends maybe?

Branches stemming from you?

Justified and redeemed?

More than conquerors?

Heirs with you son?

Would you call them saints?

A new creation?

Holy and blameless?

If you were God for a day

Would you save mankind?

Self talk

I find it healthy to convesate with myself…
Through it I deal with voices in my head
From the choices that I dreaded choosing
To being able to see my life flash Infront of my eyes
I see how my lust for cars, cash, and worldly stuff has had me suffer and my scars run deep ..
And the system’s still applying more pressure
At quiet times I contemplated giving up
Even toyed around with suicidal thoughts
But I’ve got mad dreams, kids and bills
So I run to what I know
My pen is my ecstasy
So I scribble my fears on plain white sheets
I wipe my tattooed tears on white napkins
I drown it all the best way I know how to
With words on my pad I puff it all away
I remind myself that I owe it to mysey to never make the same mistakes
Moving with a change of pace,
In my head I’m a fighter,
My words sparks up the lighter
My soul is a fluid
My load is getting lighter
Another peaceful moment is lost,
But I still need to be straight
I say to myself, son, take one deep breath,
Down on one knee,
I whisper a simple prayer to my God
Thanks for this far
Please forgive me for my life of sin
I beg for Thy forgiveness
I’m back on the right track, I’m finally found!

@muchendujnr

Dream

If this is truly a dream
Then I don’t wanna wake up
Cos if I’m ever free
It’s only in my dreams
Only there I’m I poor bastard
That has so much to offer
It’s only there that this pain stops
And I get to really live
It’s only there that
I get to meet my private self
I get to see the child inside me dance
I get to ride wild horses
So let me and my dreams be,
Cos it does me more good than I’d ever say
It helps me live
It makes my broken heart whole
It seals my wounds
It covers all my scars
But I never forget
This is just but a temporary loan

@muchendujnr

Addicted

I knew her when I was eight
She would hide herself in smiles
The warm embraces
The words of affirmation
Rarely was she ever spoken to me
But I knew her warmth
And I knew I could trust her
Cos she made me feel alive

Come to my favoured years
She made my blood boil
On the inside my heart would rush
On the outside my face would blush
And I was a clipped bird
Soon she changed
I saw a face of hers I never knew
Pain, heartbreak was part of her package deal!

This thing called love!
She’s like a drug that we all use…
Side effects depends on how you use it!
One minute she’s saving you
Next minute she’s drowning you!
She can consume you
Turn you into someone you’re not
Or bring out the best in you!

Some of us are living it
Some are searching for it
Some are wishing for it
Some are running from it
Some are lying cos of it
Some are crying cos of it
Some have died cos of it
Most of us have been on it
We don’t know why we’re hooked to it!
But yet, we still pursue it!

@smuchendu

I
At times I wonder if you’re real?
Or should I look for somebody else?
Are you really who you say you are?
That you’re able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond ..
Much more than I can ask?
Much more than I can think?

II
If you are, I wonder if it’s true …
That you know where I am?
That you actually see it
That you see every step I take?
How about the ones I took backwards?
Or the tears that we muffled by this pillow?

III
If it’s really true then I’ll let you in on my truth
I fear that you’re mad at me
Cos you’ve broken me on every side that I go
If you’re not how comes …
That it’s only trouble that finds me?
When I hoped for good, evil came
When I waited for light, all was dark

IV
But then again
Though you slay me,
You still remain my hope
Though I’m flat on my back
It allows me to reflect and look up to you
And I’m able to see you for myself
And I’m reminded that it all works together for my good!

@muchendujnr

Who is he to you?

Who is he to you?
A friend perhaps?
One that you converse with daily
Or a stranger
Just a shadow in your contact list
Maybe a foe
An alien from a strange place
Ever weary of his face
…
Is he like an in-law
That unopened letter in your pigeonhole
A package only opened when necessary
One that you deal with cos you must
Or is he like a brother
The coefficient of beta
Ever on your case yet better
Usually on your nerves yet you’re never bitter
…
Tell me, is he like an apple
The one the doc said you should have daily
Yet too darn expensive as a daily meal
Or is he like a lemon,
Far from ordinary
Bitter yet necessary
An arbitrary penalty
…
I might be too celebral but …
If you’re anything like me
Then you query about God
He’s so close yet so far away
The ghost between the rays
Dreamlike and surreal
Loving yet consuming
Amusing yet confusing
…
I wonder about his love
Dramatic and poetic
Anthropomorphic
Real, exceptional and magical
Like a never ending corridor of confusion
Soft like calm waters
Hard and strange like a storm
Present and visible like the sun
Yet plummeting like an eclipse
The grand puppeteer
And we’re all marionnets
In his game of musical chairs
…
Maybe I have him figured out wrong
Maybe I’m just a wounded animal that refuses to be nursed!
Maybe my hypothesis is all but messed up
Just maybe …!

@muchendujnr