lost trust

What you’re seeing is what you’ll get

This is what life has taught

So what I’ve got is what I’ve brought

Cos’ I’m always on the lookout

Constantly on a picket

Were we ever friends? Cos’ now we’re opponents

What was once love, is now dust

What was respect, is now dirt

What was admiration, is now contempt

And none of this is said in jest

My heart, I’ve heavily guarded it

I’ve lost my ability to trust

I only do it when I must

Only to quench it’s thirst

Addicted

I knew her when I was eight
She would hide herself in smiles
The warm embraces
The words of affirmation
Rarely was she ever spoken to me
But I knew her warmth
And I knew I could trust her
Cos she made me feel alive

Come to my favoured years
She made my blood boil
On the inside my heart would rush
On the outside my face would blush
And I was a clipped bird
Soon she changed
I saw a face of hers I never knew
Pain, heartbreak was part of her package deal!

This thing called love!
She’s like a drug that we all use…
Side effects depends on how you use it!
One minute she’s saving you
Next minute she’s drowning you!
She can consume you
Turn you into someone you’re not
Or bring out the best in you!

Some of us are living it
Some are searching for it
Some are wishing for it
Some are running from it
Some are lying cos of it
Some are crying cos of it
Some have died cos of it
Most of us have been on it
We don’t know why we do this
But yet, we still pursue it!

Underneath these broken pieces

I
I wish I was there
When they said it wasn’t surgical
Empathetic but they had to be original
And tell you it was terminal
Underneath these broken pieces there’s a heart
That never stops caring!

II
All these years of loving him
And this is what we get?
I cried, why do good people die!
With a smile you said that it only happened once!
And I thought you were in denial
Yet underneath these broken pieces there’s a heart
That never stops hoping

III
I don’t know what the answer is
But I know what it isn’t
It can’t be that God doesn’t care
And just cos you don’t know the answer
Doesn’t mean there isn’t one
Underneath these broken pieces there’s a heart
That never stops wondering

IV
What if …
God’s plan for the pain isn’t for us to skip it
What if …
The only way out is going through it
What if …
He gives a purpose to it
What if …
In the end we’ll see his face in it
Underneath these broken pieces there’s a heart
That never stops fighting

V
This maybe the last breath I take
Today maybe the last time I wake
All I know, God makes no mistakes
And it’s okay, I’m where I need to be
Underneath these broken pieces there’s a heart
That never stops loving!

Muchendu

I need you

Now, did you read the news today?
Did they say that danger has gone away?
Cos from where I stand the fire is still lit
And it’s burning up into the night!

All my thousands dreams
Are haunted by a million screams
Fading into a billion streams!
Maybe I just have too many problems!
….
This is the time
I’m looking up to you for the future
Oh Christ, where are you now?
Cos everything’s gone wrong somehow!

I’m so confused
What should I do?
I can’t think of anything
Anything except you
I need you!

My drug of choice

Love..
It’s has always been my drug of choice
Especially when it’s hard to even hear my voice
When looking at my life weary I’ve nothing to rejoice
So I’m making my sacrifice
I’m paying the ultimate price
I’m listening to this inner voice
Heeding to my heart’s advice
I’m blocking all the noise
I’m making myself love’s apprentice
I pray I learn from love about self confidence
Allow my wounds to heal though by compromise
I’m showing myself love for once!
Maybe twice …
But this doesn’t need to be anything, whatever or otherwise!

To whom do we turn?

To whom do I raise my complaint
When the king is blind to my plight
And his ears can’t hear when I shout

Powers and authority’s their only object
A sad affair: zero concern for the subject
And the kingdom drowns in the terror of night

They be out there building bridges
Dancing over midges
As we roll over the ridges

The economy is run by wolves
As the rest tremble in their hooves
Craving relief as we gather like hungry doves

Promises have been forgotten
So I’m left to wonder to whom do we turn
When we’ve no influence in our town
No matter how many committees we join

Out of nothingness

I
When I hear about love
I imagine a waterfall
A stream of neverending flow
The mystery of an overflowing fall
Over slippery, muddy and tropical paths
The sounding board of gushing waters
Rushing over rocks and clashing waters
Channelled by terracotta roofs
Creating basins and pools
Like crashing bison hoofs
The sequential encounter of fools …

II
Feelings flowing from one heart to another
From one soul to the other
Like whispers in chilling winds
Cascading over time and lives
Piercing in the light and darkness
Drowning all fears and tears
Creating wholeness
Out of nothingness …
Come magic and memories!

The feeble poet

In a city where everybody writes
On a lonely night
In a village of philologists
A feeble poet scribbles

Poetic thoughts
Rhythmic lines
Metrical writings
Beauty expressions
Lyrical poesy novels

But everyone in the Hamlet
Everyone in the village
Believes that only literature experts
Can scribble influencial rhymes

So the feeble poet
Thrives by blocking their voices
Voices of them telling him to be himself
Yet they won’t let him be himself

On a lazy lonely night
The feeble poet scribbles influencial rhymes
Against this image that they’ve created of him
Without knowing anything about him

And in the beauty of the morning
He listens to the singing of the birds
So he closes his eyes and listens
His own rhymes
Flowing with the singing birds
And he knows his work couldn’t be more complete!

Too familiar

It feels like a horrible accident
Everything’s lost in the incident

Every bone in me aches
Every hope in me shakes

Like my soul’s faded away
Every bit of me’s lost in decay

The expression’s eminent
Yet the words won’t come out

I’m reaching out, can you hear?
I’m giving up, are you here?

Behind this stoic exterior
The pain is just too familiar

Gasping for breath
Sinking in this depth

I used to walk by faith
Now I hitchhike with death …

Extroverted introvert

If anyone was to love me

They need to understand that I’m half introvert

I’m better in writing than I am in speaking

So I pray that this helps …

Half the time I miss the conversation

Simply cos I’m too analytical

By the time I process what to say …

The conversation has moved on

I prefer quietness and calmness
This is often confused for shyness

If I have a way to avoid conflict

When confronted I’ll often take that route

Though I’m not antisocial

Too much social interaction drains me

I prefer to sit in my couch at home

To going out to a crowded party

If I had a spirit animal

It’d be a caterpillar

Safely curled in my caccoon

Missing out on all the action


If you met me among my family or friends

You wouldn’t know about my introvert tendencies

I’m outspoken and loud

I’m talkative and wild
I’m confident and proud

So if you were to love me

Understand I’ll need my shell

I’ll need time for myself

A time that only I can comprehend

Unfortunately, nobody seems to get that very well

At least nobody I know

So if you were to love me

Understand that I am an extroverted introvert

And the introvert in me needs to recover at times

smuchendu