Son, you can be anything that you wanted to be; that’s what Daddy said
But to do that I needed to learn so he took me to school
There they taught me that education is the key
I observed that it was cloaked in books so I buried myself in ‘em,
All these years, I read, I recite and I re-count
However, I’m yet to answer my spawn’s questions
Where did God come from?
…
So I learnt to read, write and to compose
And from it I drew my greatest inspiration
In the wake of the night you can find me
In my isolated room
Lost in my poetic thoughts
I’m still writing this story that never ends
…
I’ve often likened my body to a cell
Largely because for some reason I can’t seem to make out my front door
Yet for some reason I can barely afford to live in it anymore
Ordinarily because of its location; A world of endless odds,
At dawn I turn on my lights and I become some sort of skyline that people envy
They assume that living here must be a privilege regardless of how defeated and beaten up I appear to be
Or how these walls seem like they want to crumble!
…
Daily, I make sure that my rent is paid
By taking in at least three meals
A few glasses of water;
A few hours of sleep
I exercise from time to time but the doctor said that I have to make it a habit
And just when I thought that that was enough
He said I have to eat more fruits and vegetables
I have to purge away negativity
…
In an effort to make sure that my rent is paid I have a regular 8-5 job,
I spend most of my time holed up in the office
Never stopping long enough to go out and have some fun.
Over the weekends, I’m all over running errands;
Making more money just to pay my rent
Seems like the cost of living in this apartment goes higher everyday
But besides my busy schedule I still find time to feed my addiction
In my nighttime turmoil I’m at it again
Putting my poetic thoughts on a piece of paper
Scribbling in my rhyme book in an secluded chamber
…
In my musing I came to the realization that I had a roommate
Or maybe he was always there
And just like I have always done
I started writing about him the best way that I know how
I observed that day by day he was occupying more space
He would push my loved ones away when he was in control
He made me feel hopeless and helpless
He was responsible for my lost interest in friends, activities, and things that I used to enjoy
He made me feel tired all the time, I would have sleepless nights and my appetite was poor
He made sure that I had a hard time concentrating and I couldn’t control my pessimistic thoughts, no matter how hard I tried
…
He convinced me that no one cared and he constantly reminded me that the pain was too much to bear
Since he came my friends said that I’d become more irritable,
I’m short-tempered, and aggressive
He became my dirty public secret that alcohol couldn’t drive away,
Sex couldn’t make okay;
Often times I would find myself on different beds, different drugs, different prescriptions
My brain is my work, but I am failing to control it
They said I struggle with depression
Simon Muchendu’s Blog 